Today’s exam,

went really well! :D I am beyond chuffed at how well it went, I did run out of time doing the questions I had missed out and went back to at the end though, so a rushed few educated guesses were in order, but all in all, I think the essays were substantial, the multiple choice was quite straightforward and there’s a good chance I can get a decent grade. Unbelievably happy, complete contrast from yesterday. JOY.

Oh god.

I knew today was going to be bad, but I didn’t realize it was going to be that bad. I’ve never failed an exam so hard in my whole life, the worst thing is, had I been a stronger individual, pulled through all of the shit and risen to the challenge, I seriously think that I could have gotten through that and completely aced this subject. It makes me think that I’ve failed as a human being more than I have failed as a chemistry student, I don’t think it’s my chemistry abilities that are flawed, but my confidence in myself, my abilities to apply myself and my strength as an individual are what have been my downfall, I am not stupid, I just didn’t believe I could do it, I wasn’t prepared to do it and ultimately, I didn’t do it. I failed this exam today not because I’m bad at chemistry, but because I’m bad at life.

Tomorrow we have my second exam, which I refuse to get less than a C in and I refuse to let today’s disastrous attempt of an exam get in the way of.