You can tell a lot about a man by the brightness of his iPhone.– Chris Atkinson
OMG. I think I'm gonna vom.
I’ve not eaten in like over a day and already had three coffees today on around four hours sleep and I am shakier than a motherfukkaaaaaaaaaa.
In addition to the last post I wrote.
It didn’t help that I looked like shit today seeing as I have been up since 6am this morning, didn’t even shower, just dry shampoo’d my hair because I’m a skank, the tin said it was “Funky, Fresh and Flirty” which, believe me, were the LAST three things I felt today.
In H&M today with Rianna and the baby.
Whenever we go out together with Emily, it always looks like I’m her dad and Rianna is my girlfriend, y’know, boy + girl + baby = people just assume. But today in H&M the HOTTEST GUY EVER was working at the checkout that me and Rianna were at and she was buying baby clothes whilst I was holding the baby. Had I not been holding a baby/had it not looked like she was in fact MY baby,...
So my ex GIRLFRIEND has a new boyfriend.
He’s not as hot as me. Also nowhere near as gay as me…
Anonymous asked: if i said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me?
Lime and Coconut ice cream from Waitrose?
Don’t mind if I do. Gaaaaah I’m working in 20 minutes. Boo.
Just in from work.
Nap time, I’ve been looking forward to this nap since 9am…
I downloaded this autotune rap app for my phone that turns anything you say into a rap, with a real beat and everything, it’s amazing! Way more fun than studying.
Cringe, been in my head all day, I’ve been thinking about it though and although he gets compared to Justin Bieber a lot, I don’t feel ashamed to say I like the song “Vegas Girl” for two reasons. One, he’s British, and is also from Brighton in Sussex, same part of the country as much of my family, so he’s automatically cool as fuck. Secondly, he was born in...
Salad for dinner?
Neil you’ve changed.
My parents are coming to see me last minute today!
My dad called me this morning saying they are coming down and staying the night tonight because my stepmum’s best friend had a brain hemorrhage and has been given 24 hours to live. That’s so sad! She has a 4 month old baby and is only in her mid thirties. So I get to see the family today and they’re taking me out for dinner and I get to look after my brother tonight too.
alanternlight asked: You're not so bad looking either ;)
Sloans in Oban are having a "Steak and Seafood BBQ...
ERMERGERD. Why am I in Glasgow and working tonight?! Cruel fate!
I'm making a list of all the things I'm gonna buy...
I cannot wait.
Haha, I heard this song on the Radio at work last...
The lyrics included “I don’t care about the VIP, because every single DJ is inside of me.” Hahahaha slut.
"I think you should come to Polo tonight."
“I think you should fuck off and stop texting me, ya CUNT.” I really am the epitome of politeness.
I had a dream Yvette helped me move all my stuff...
First of all, I don’t have a new flat, second of all, I’ve only met that girl twice maybe, and thirdly, she’s hardly the “heavy lifting” type, she’d break a nail.
I almost forgot.
We were at the pub the other day and Anna posed the question “Would you rather be thin and ugly or fat and beautiful?” We unanimously decided upon fat and beautiful. It was at this point I quoted the line “Beauty is 90% about attitude and how you work it.” I got such a ripping, I have to stop being a strong independent black woman.
When Mark gets back from Trinidad, I’m gonna shave his beard off so I can...– Jamie May.